Got to Love a Challenge

Where are the growth opportunities?

Where are the challenges?

Where are the moments that pull you from one phase of life into another?

Oh, wait. They are behind the challenging thing we avoid, feel we can't do, or don't even attempt. In some ways, being an adult sucks as it limits us by fear and insecurities and removes the childish bravery that never lets us stay down when we fall. Have you seen a kid try to walk?

They fall and get back up over and over.

At what time in our lives do we consciously or unconsciously decide to either stop trying to walk because a fall is not worth the risk, or we just choose never to get back up?

For a long time, there were areas of my life where I had a fixed mindset without fully realizing it. I told myself things like, “I am just this way,” “My childhood made me this way,” “I do not know how, so I cannot do it,” or “I already tried, and that is it.” Sometimes I could not see how I would ever become successful, so I assumed success might not be possible for me. I believed I needed certain achievements, specific attributes, or validation from other people to prove that I was capable, worthy, intelligent, talented, or deserving. I looked for that validation in work, relationships, accomplishments, and the way people responded to me. Some of those thoughts were understandable. They came from real experiences. They came from disappointment, fear, rejection, frustration, and moments when I genuinely did not know what to do next. At the time, some of those beliefs may have helped me explain what I was feeling. But underneath them was a deeper belief that was far more damaging.

Nothing is getting better.

Nothing will get better.

The world is against me.

I am meant to struggle.

This is simply the life I have been given.

I see that belief now, and I no longer accept it as the truth.

I know that I can grow. I can change. I can learn. I can adapt. I can develop skills that I do not currently have. I can become better at things that once intimidated me. I can enter rooms where I feel unprepared and still figure out how to contribute. But growth requires more than believing that change is possible. At some point, you have to take up the mantle and try.

You have to be willing to attempt something before you are certain you will be good at it.

You have to be willing to look inexperienced.

You have to be willing to fall.

A baby learning to walk does not fall once and decide that walking is not meant for them. The baby falls, gets back up, takes another step, falls again, and continues until walking becomes natural.

The fall is not proof of failure.

The fall is part of the process.

Every attempt teaches me something.

Every challenge reveals something.

Every setback gives me another opportunity to practice resilience.