Unveiling My Journey: A New Letter About GrandValli

For the past few months, I've been trying to figure out what I'm doing—with GrandValli, with my life, with this vision I can't seem to let go of even when it would probably be smarter to just... not. It would definitely be easy to just...not.

People ask where things stand, what's coming, if this is still a real thing. That's all fair to ask and question. Some people gave me advice on what I can do next to start making money for GrandValli and what other things I could pursue. I'm sure by now, from the outside looking in it looks quiet. It looks like GrandValli has stalled and may even be done. Sometimes, I even think that my vision or dream of what GrandValli could be is too much for me and perhaps should just remain as a hope and a dream.

So, I'm writing this—part explanation, part confession, part proof to myself that I'm still here.

The Reality Right Now

The thought of GrandValli keeps circling in my head like a mild cough that I can't seem to get rid of completely. Despite the quiet and silence that may appear to you, GrandValli is still loud to me. As I'm writing this, I am doing it from a different place from where I started GrandValli.

I'm in a smaller place to save money to pay off debt, typing on a laptop balanced on an air mattress box, working a day jobs that doesn't use the most of my skillset but at least doesn't make me depressed when I wake up in the morning, and I am still trying to figure out what's next. It is in figuring out what's next that the only constant seems to be the echo of GrandValli and my vision of it gently tapping at the door.

Why GrandValli Exists

One word - opportunity.

GrandValli exists to be a place of opportunity. Opportunity that you create or can be created for yourself.

At the time when I first imagined GrandValli I felt that for many people, businesses, talents, and aspirations, it was all heavily dependent on needed and opportunity provided by another party. Another party needs to say yes, another party needs to agree that you are talented enough to get this job. Another party needs to say your business is great and there is a market for it. I felt it was an endless cycle of waiting for another party to provide the opportunity. I didn't want to wait anymore for an opportunity to be giving to me based on someone else's determination of my value or worth or ability. I was also tired of applying to job posting after job postingand getting rejected and rejected and basically becoming dependent on a company or person to tell me I am worth it or a good fit or not. I felt too that if I felt this way other people may too. I also saw people around me who had dreams different to what they were doing or had skills they weren't using because there wasn't the opportunity to. So, I thought in this day, and age why can’t we just create our own opportunities and just do our own thing.

Hence, GrandValli.

Now clearly that is easier said than done.

Either way we started a podcast. Told five stories of real people doing real things. That felt good. That felt like the start of something.

But I'll be honest, I'm still in the "figuring it out" phase. What I am learning though is that perhaps everyone is forever in the "still figuring it out" phase. For me right now though, I want to do more. I keep circling back to what GrandValli could be and at the very least I think it could be a place where we explore and attempt different things, collaborate, build, and create.

Now here is the thing. I just don't know exactly how yet. Or if I'm even capable of pulling it off. What do you do when your vision feels too big for yourself? What do you do when you are worried about what if your vision is a success and what will happen next?

The Doubt

The big ambition is there. I feel it is just the steady undercurrent that keeps flowing. The vision is huge in my head, GrandValli as this creative home, this thing gives people permission to try and fail and make things even when it's uncertain.

But then I'm sitting here on my air mattress, and I think: who the hell am I to be dreaming this big when everything around me doesn't quite seem to match the ambition? I feel it is hard to create or work towards something you have no blueprint for. In so many ways I am creating this playbook as I go and in some ways its freeing and in other ways its drowning.

The process doesn't look like I thought it would. I thought I'd have more figured out by now. I thought it would feel more... legitimate.

Instead, it feels like I'm building in the cracks—between shifts, between calls, between moments of wondering if I should just give up and focus on getting my life together first.

But I don't. I keep coming back to it.

What I'm Doing Next

I'm writing a mini book. Not because I have all the answers, but because I don't and it is the first next step I came up with that felt best and so I am committed to seeing it through. It's a reflection on where GrandValli's been, where I am, and where I think we could go. It's also a marker—something I can look back on in five years and say, "I was here. I tried. I showed up even when it was hard."

Sometimes, I think we spend so much time focusing on where we are going next, we don’t stop to timestamp where we are or where we have been. This min-book is meant for that. So, if all things go to shit, I can at least look back and say we tried it and we are better for it. At the very least I can so it to new people I meet and say I did this thing one time.

Also, if GrandValli becomes what I imagine it could be, I want people to be able to trace it back to this messy, uncertain, chaotic beginning.

And if it doesn't? At least I documented it.

What I Hope This Does

I want this to feel real. I want people who read it to recognize their own unfinished ideas, their own doubts, their own "I don't know if I can do this, but I can't stop thinking about it" moments.

I want it to give someone else permission to start even when things aren't perfect. Even when they're working a job, they're overqualified for. Even when their desk is a cardboard box.

Because that's where I am. And I'm still going.

The Big Picture

GrandValli isn't just about me. It's supposed to be a table where people come together—creatives, thinkers, people with talent who haven't gotten their shot yet. I want to build alongside them, not ahead of them.

Right now, that looks like writing. Sharing the process. Being honest about what it actually takes to try to build something from nothing.

Over the next few weeks, I'll share pieces of this—reflections, maybe some cover ideas, bits of the writing itself. If you've ever wondered what's really going on with GrandValli or what drives it, this is it. Unfiltered.

This isn't about perfection. It's about showing up.

And I'm still here.

— Salina Edwards, Writer & creator of GrandValli

P.S. Pre-register for the book - grandvalli.com/preregisterforbook